Hey. Hi. Hello.

Well, it's cold outside. Usually I like winter. You know. Chai lattes, scarves, boots, snow covered mountains, Christmas, and even my birthday, are usually things I look forward to. But this year I'm not in the mood. Like I don't know what my deal is. Spring is my favorite time of year, and I couldn't be more anxious for it to show up at my doorstep.

Ok, catching up...

Fall semester is almost over. Could not be more relieved. There wasn't enough coffee in the library cafe to keep me awake and going in those classes. I thought it would be smart to go straight from high school to college, but now I'm realizing I might have been a little more burnt out than I thought. So my game plan is to have Spring semester involving a significant amount more of art classes. And I couldn't be more happy about it. If I'm going to keep my head down and push through this, I might as well enjoy it a little right?

It's also a little hard to stay motivated in school when I haven't the slightest of ideas of what I'm doing with my life. Do I stay with my safe declared major of Marketing? Do I go to culinary school as suggested by most of my family and friends? Or do I go with my gut and follow through with my childhood dream of entering the fashion industry?

When I was in the first grade, my best friend's name was Amy, and I can still remember after school we would sit on her purple day bed with sketches of my dress designs and her swim suit designs scattered everywhere, and we'd talk over our plans of going to fashion school and becoming designers together while giving each other makeovers. We were so imaginative. Or so I thought.

There was a point while growing up, when I'd decided that dream was unpractical, and therefore unattainable. My mind was completely focused on numbers and dollars. I envisioned a comfortable life. I'd always seen myself taking care of, and supporting myself. That meant whatever job made the most money. So I set new ambitions. Replaced my dreams of design school with goals of Law School.

But now? After growing up a little more, I've had some new realizations. I want a job I love. I want a job I'm excited to get up and go to every morning. Life is too short to not do the things you love. The result of my little epiphany? My goals, visions, and dreams are all blurred. Leaving me more confused than ever. Trying to find a balance between a job I love and a comfortable income. So... now, I'm sitting in philosophy 1010 contemplating life in all of it's entirety, and what to do with mine, and Amy has been accepted to fashion school in California getting ready to live out our childhood dream.

Well Shit.

*Pardon my french.* But in all honesty? I've never felt more pathetic in my life.

Sure I've set goals. But I feel like none of them are concrete, because I can't make up my mind. They say you're supposed to figure it all out in college. Taking different classes, figuring out what you like. But there are a lot of classes you can't take without investing yourself into a major or a program. It's so frustrating because I don't want to be the girl who spends forever in school constantly switching her major. Especially while all my friends are moving on with their lives being successful.

But like one day at a time right?

Right.

Well Kids, I think I'm Ready to Be Done

High school is coming to an end. What am I going to do with my life? Like be responsible?

Yes Alexis. That is exactly what you're going to do.

So I switched jobs. Don't get me wrong, I loved working in Retail. I loved seeing the new clothes come in, and helping people put together pieces to get the look they wanted. And on my last day of work, I felt like it was all finally clicking. It was so effortless. And I could tell I was going to miss it.
My level of nervousness to start my new job, was ridiculous. I am now a Hostess at Mimi's cafe. I of course am working with my best girl, Danielle. And guess what ya'll? I love love love my new job. Not to mention the free food I get while I'm training.

I'm going to work my butt off this summer, because I've got some plans. In September Dani and I, are road tripping to the National concert. Today I was sitting in Plant and Soil, when I got a text from Danielle, and guess who is playing with them!? The Local Natives. I was dying sitting there in the back of the class. I mean how could people just sit there all bored when I had the most amazing news? This concert is going to be the perfect senior trip. Colorado here we come.

Also, I hope (cross your fingers) to move out at the end of the summer with the bestie. So I will be attempting to save up. I mean it should be possible. If only I could stop going on random shopping sprees.

-A

Lazy for Days

Today we were supposed to go to California Adventure. But this morning, no one could get up. So, it was sort of unanimously decided that we stay at the house and bum the whole day. It was so nice.

First, we went on a small adventure to find strawberries. Fresh strawberries.

Yeah. That was all that I ate for breakfast.

Then we went down to the beach for a bit. Soon enough it was lunch time. 

We were eating on the pier today.

 Ruby's was pretty good. It's the restaurant at the end of the pier. My favorite part though, were the people working there. All the girls were dressed like pin-up girls. This was our waitress, Rachel.

I love mint chocolate anything. So this shake made my day. Obviously Rie loved hers. She was in heaven. And no one was going to steal a sip from her shake.

I could honestly could not breath after I finished though. I vowed to myself that as soon as I get home, I'm starting back up Insanity. Apparently running a mile and a half everyday isn't enough. And can someone please start doing yoga with me? I miss it so much.

Annnnyways. The rest of the day? I got some shopping in, I got some good stuff. New leggings, shorts, and a shirt. AND I got a bunch of vintage books from this cute little consignment shop, for my senior pics. I'm way excited!

After that, I came home and passed out in my bed. Naps are my favorite. Usually. But I woke up feeling like I got hit by a truck. Literally. I was sore all over.

Back down to the beach after that.

I love this place. Too much probably. My dad actually wants to move here. Not exactly here, but Carlsbad. That would be way nice. But it won't happen. So get ready Utah, I'll be coming back soon.

-A

A Day Late.

I've been busy. So here is yesterdays post.

First day at Disneyland, oh my.
(PS sorry about the crappy quality. I only had my phone.)

So when we first got to the park, we headed to Space mountain. I swear that's where we always head first.

Space mountain used to scare me. A lot. I mean you can't see anything! I was always worried we were going to crash. Or that the roller coaster was going to jump the track and we would run into.. I have no idea what, because like I said, you couldn't see a dang thing.

Anyways, there were people with churros after I got off the ride. And they smelled so good. Which is weird, because after being scarred by cafeteria food, I never ate churros. But all I wanted was a dang churro. And after seeing those people with them, I walked around looking for one forever! Once I found a stand with them, five bucks later, I was one happy camper. Until my family all wanted a bite and it was gone before it even had time to cool off.

 So this isn't to say I'm not having fun, but the fact is, Disneyland has been a little bit of a depressing experience. I'm realizing that I'm really not a little kid anymore.

Have you ever been sledding, where you take a ton of time and energy to climb up the dang hill, and then it only takes 2 seconds to sled down it. And you get frustrated because all that climbing didn't really pay off?
That's kind of how all the rides have been. I just remember them being so great when I was little, that my expectations destroyed. And these lines? Well I just hate lines.

But Rielyn is making it all funner, in a way. I mean this girl goes skipping off the rides asking to go on another ride right this second. Umm try standing in line with that.
But it's all good. Because every time she see's a Disney Character walking around the park, the girl goes starstruck.

So the teacups are my favorite.

When I was little, I remember going to blockbuster with my mom. Whenever we went, I always got to pick one movie for myself. My go-to movie was always Alice in Wonderland.

Yes I really do remember this. The reason why I would have to rent it all the time, was my mom wouldn't buy it. She hated Alice in Wonderland. And still does, to this day.

So it's still my favorite ride at Disneyland. Plus I love tea, tea cups, tea parties, and spinning. And the line for the teacups is always short. mmm short lines. I love that.

This picture documents probably the highest point of my day... except when I ate a caramel apple. That was pretty great...

-A

Sundays are Good to Me.

So basically I have a ton of pictures from yesterday.

Let's start at the start, then end with the end?

Best Easter yet I think.

So we decided to put those cute bikes to use.

Oh! And this is the house! 

You love it don't you? I know I do.

Anyways! So we went on a little ride down to the beach, then to the pier, and up through some of the shops. When we finally got back home, everyone else wanted to go down to the beach. 

I got a lot of color. Red color mostly. But I can't complain.

 (Emily Millard told me so)

Ha, so after playing, we went out for dinner, then did a little shopping.

As soon as we got home, I crashed. Hard.

I woke up at one this morning, made a little cup of peppermint tea, and decided to write this post.

Well actually. Fun story about waking up this morning...

So I came out into the kitchen to make my tea, and I heard this funny sound in my room. I looked down the hall just in time to see the light go off. My heart started racing. Someone was in my room. I finished making my tea and left it to steep. I turned on the hallway light and slowly walked to my room. Some guy was hiding in either the closet or under my bed. He was going to kidnap me, or rape and kill me. 

I have no idea why I was so sure of it.

I couldn't even bring myself to take one step into the room. So I went back out into the kitchen and sat on the floor behind the counter. I just sat there sipping my tea. In my mind, it totally made sense that as long as he didn't see me, I would be safe behind the counter. I'm a genius everyone.

I heard my phone ringing in the other room. I was so terrified, I couldn't even bring myself to get up and get the stupid thing. It was probably Danielle calling me back. 

I finally finished my tea, and had worked up enough courage to go back to the entryway to my room. That's as far as I made it though, the doorway. I gave up, and shut my door. If this guy was coming to get me, I was at least going to hear the door open.

I went to write this post on the couch, where Logan had crashed. Apparently there wasn't enough room for both of us. I hurried and offered he take my bed, so he started for my room. I hopped up to follow him. I wanted to see this. He walked straight into my room to turn on the lamp on the other side of the bed. He turned it off, then when he switched it back on, it shorted out. 

The. Dumb. Lamp. Had. Broke.

April fools to myself??? What kind of joke is this?!?

So pissed. I gave up my bed for this. 

Oh well. I hope you laughed at my story. Maybe I will later. When I'm actually all the way awake!

-A

So I Didn't Have wifi Yesterday...

Oh. MY.

We finally made it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This place is amazing.
But.
Let me start at the beginning...
So. Yesterday.

DAY ONE

Friday. I had to get all packed which was kind of hard. Considering that when we moved in December, I did some cleaning out, and threw away all my shorts. It didn't occur to me that summer would be here pretty quick.

But I did it!

Haha, then after a lot of setbacks with the car, we got on the road. 

(Oh, and because I bought a ton of these, I practically lived on them for the whole ride. Jolly Rancher chews.)

 I think I could die a happy person if I never saw another Jolly Rancher chew in my life.

So we drove all the way to Vegas. It was pretty uneventful. Then we got to our Hotel and slept...

DAY TWO

Waking up in Vegas... you know what? I don't really care for Vegas. If you are going there for vacation, I'm sorry. Every time I go, I hate it even more. No, it's not because all you can smell is smoke, and all you can see are slutty ads. Like neither of those things bug me. It's just that it's hot, and in the middle of nowhere.

But whatever.

So we went to a buffet for breakfast. To be honest, Vegas is the only time I ever make an exception for a buffet. But even then, I regret it right after... when will I ever learn? 

So.

We drove.

and drove.

and drove some more.

I fell asleep again, and when I woke up, we were in Barstow CA. I couldn't fall back to sleep. I was so excited to see the ocean. You guys probably don't even understand my love for the ocean. It's not just the romanticism of it all. I mean it's that, but it's more. It's that overwhelming feeling you get when it's right in front of you, and you realize how small you really are. I think that's why I love flying so much too. 

Of course I was the first to see it. And of course I was freaking out. Ugh I'm such a child. But I don't care. 

Finding the house was a little tricky. Oceanside is packed with spring-breakers... aaand off duty Naval officers. Uhhhhhhhh..... haha YES.

You guys. The house is amazing. I had a video tour, but blogger won't load it. So I'll either have pictures or a video tomorrow.

Tomorrow is going to be so nice. Beach day. There are these cute bikes in the garage and some boogie boards. Plus, the whole town is made up of cute little shops and there's this cute pier. Cute cute cute. I can't even wait! 

Goodnight

-A

Guys. It's Finally Here... Almost.

Tomorrow we leave. I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am for this vacation. I'm going to try and blog every day. Becaaaause. You know when you go on vacation, and you swear you'll remember every minute of every day? Then you get home and everyone asks about it, and you can't even keep the days straight, or remember which day you did what?

Yeah, that's not happening to this girl. Blogging. Every night.

So today is Thursday, tomorrow is Friday. I stayed home today to get a mountain of laundry done so I will have clothes to wear on vacation. And do cleaning around the house. Mom worked an all-nighter last night, so I'm watching the kiddies while she's sleeping. Also, I work tonight. That will be pretty awesome. 

Then tomorrow, the plan is to be out of here by 2 in the afternoon. We are roadtripping all the way there. Three adults (including muah), and five kiddies in one car... yeah, it's a great idea. Ha, it will actually be fun.. I hope...

So, someone should probably remind me not to forget my laptop. Please and Thankyou. Oh and my camera. I def can't forget either of those. If I do, I might just die. 

Anyways. So then after we leave, the plan is sleeping in Vegas, then onward to Cali the next day! Oceanside to be specific. I can't wait for this beach house. And I can't wait for Disneyland. I probably sound like such a kid, but Disneyland is one of my favorite places.  And I haven't been in sooo long. The past couple of times I've been to Cali, it was for wine country, or the beach, or just for exploring. 

Ohhhhh and today, I loaded up my phone with a ton of new music. I will have no shortage of the stuff. Like just listen to a few of my finds...

Welp, I will have plenty of pictures and stories for you tomorrow. Oh! and videos! Dad wants me to play with the new GoPro, so, I'll have videos for you too!

-A

Watch and Learn

I've watched this twice in class. And I don't know why, but I love it. 

So enjoy.

-A

You Really Do Only Live Once

You look at life differently if you really know what it's like, 

to think you're going to die. 

I put a lot of miles on my jeep this winter.

Driving, trying to think it all through.

Trying to wrap my mind around it.

.......................................

Every once in a while, I understood.

I got what life is all about.

My last visit up to Primary Children's, my doctor said everything looked good.

We thought it was all over.

We were both wrong.

How can you fight something you can never control?

......................................................................................................

Ha. You guys. One more week.

I need to get away.

-A

I think I gave up.

My week has been a nightmare.

 So hi. 

The term is over. 

I'm not taking the AP exam anymore. 

I don't like my pieces enough. I'm not confident in them.

 Except this one. I think I like this one. Also? I think I passed all my classes.

 If I didn't, I don't want to know about it. I never check my grades. And I don't want to start 

now that it's too late. But, at least the term is over. So next week should be nice. 

And then it's spring break. I really just have to keep reminding my self that

 soon I'll be on vacation. Because I've been going through a lot. 

And I sort of basically need this vacation... a lot. 

They say the sun can cure it all.

I'm hoping it can cure:

Heartbreak and
Stress.

{If the sun doesn't though, Disney Land should.}

-A

Cabin Fever

Ok, So maybe Utah isn't so bad. Annnd maybe, sometimes I even like it a little bit. But now. RIGHT NOW, I loath it. I'm completely sick for the beach. Like I was looking through these pictures from a couple spring breaks ago....

             ...and now, I really just can't wait for Spring Break. Like two weeks? Can it please come faster? I mean, just listen to how hard I've been working; I've finally got all my grades up (except AP art of course). And all my NC's are cleared. I pulled my first REAL all nighter to finish a book (that didn't even end up being due until the next B-day because my teacher is lazy and changed it). I scored a 105% on my math test. Sooo proud of myself on that one. Plus I've been taking shifts left and right at work (like between people getting sick, and two people quitting, it's been busy). Hahahahahaha oh yeah. I've been starting to run... and workout. Ugh it's been a little rough. I haven't been running in a year. But hey, did you notice? The sun is starting to come out on the daily. Which reminds me,  I'm starting to adjust to daylight savings. It's  been a total headache. Literally. 

Oh! I just cleared out my closet. Spring cleaning at its' finest. And you know that feeling when you do a deep clean? Where you get rid of all the old stuff that has been cluttering your room? And you suddenly feel like you can breathe, when you didn't even realize you were suffocating? Yes? No? Well I love it. I tend to clean whenever I know I am stressed. I know it's all in my head, and then it starts to kill my body. After I clean my room and closet out though, I can think. Like actually think. Which is so nice because it's almost summer, and I am almost graduated. And you know what? A little less stress might just get me through the last term of school. And also, it's nice to be able to breathe.                                 

-A

Let's Get This Show on the Road

Hey Hey you guys. Gueeeeeeessssss what.

"What" you ask?

I GRADUATE soon! 

High School has been fun. Like, really, it has been. But I'm finally ready to be done.

 It's taken me a long time to be able to say that. Because honestly? 

The future scares me to death.

 Growing up? Scares me.

 Moving out? Scaaaares me.

 Ha getting married? Terrifies me.

But now? Now, I can say graduating excites me. And I can't wait.

-A

Thoughts

Hmmm, I've had a break from blogging lately. I haven't known what to say. So I'm going to go with a stream of consciousness.

Minimal day today totally meant minimal effort. Sorry teachers. I know you are lazy too. Come down to my level maybe? No? K, screw you then. I'm currently stuffing my face with bread smothered in Nuetella. I haven't had Nuetella in a long time. I love it, well in little bits. {shout out to Kei right here. She loathes Nuetella. But I guess I love her anyways? Yeah, who are we kidding, she's amazing.} 

I want to go down to the lake. Actually I lied. I want to go somewhere where no one else goes for a photo shoot. I've already been to the lake...

{Photo credit: Logan. Edit credit: Nathalie}

I'm going to fail that AP portfolio exam. I need to go out and do like 20 shoots. Maybe that's what I'll be doing tomorrow. Ahhhhhhh no school tomorrow. Still wrapping my head around it.

I want to do Yoga so bad. And I also want to start running again. I look down in my yard and see the canal every day, and am like, ugh I need to go running. But you know what? It's still cold outside people. And I'm lazy. So I'll be sticking to the treadmill that my father so thoughtfully placed in the basement for me. 

So originally, I was going to write a post about my future. Then I realized, I don't want to talk about it. My future is such a mystery, Nancy Drew would be in heaven. I have almost no idea what I'm doing in school. No clue where I'm going to go for school. When I'm moving out. Where I'm moving out to. So, I'm living in the moment. 

Oh, last thought. Scott is adorable. I'm so happy he is in my life. 

 mmm yeah... 

That's all.

-A

hey. hey. vhat's up.

Basically I love my new camera you guys. It's my favorite. So Dad? Thank you so so so much. It is definitely my best birthday present yet.

Also, I love this girl. 

She is gorgeous.

 An amazing friend. 

And one of my favorite people ever.

 Like really, she is always making me laugh.

 She is the funniest person she knows.

 And I was finally able to do a shoot with her. I got some good ones. Enjoy.

 -A