hey. hey. vhat's up.

Basically I love my new camera you guys. It's my favorite. So Dad? Thank you so so so much. It is definitely my best birthday present yet.

Also, I love this girl. 

She is gorgeous.

 An amazing friend. 

And one of my favorite people ever.

 Like really, she is always making me laugh.

 She is the funniest person she knows.

 And I was finally able to do a shoot with her. I got some good ones. Enjoy.

 -A

Sweeties

 Ok, so this is my darling Sweetheart's date, Maxwell. Well, and me obviously. {Let me just take a moment to tell you how proud of myself I am for finding this dress. Dress shopping is one of the hardest things in the world for me. And I found this in a day. It was nothing short of a miracle. Especially since the dance was in three days.} Maxwell looked amazing as always, with his diamond cuff links and bow tie. I honestly love this guy so much. He is such a sweetheart, and one of my best friends.

So we had four couples. Me and Max, Jorgen and Annie, Dallen and Kelsey, and Jonny and Kristee. I'll post more pictures later when I get them. I'm not going to lie, I loved our group.

We went to Macaroni Grill for dinner, where I stuffed my self with cheese ravioli, a ton of bread, and one too many peach lemonades. It was delicious.

Then we went to the dance... where we danced... and I don't know what else to say about that... except Kristee went crazy and I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe...

After that, we went to Jonny's house where there was a chocolate fountain and a buffet of things to skewer and smother in chocolate. We all sat around the table, eating and listening to Jorgen and Jonny basically quote all of Nacho Libre. Twice. While the rest of us laughed at them, and ourselves, because it was way too late and the chocolate was kicking in.

Then we all went home, successfully, without dying on the slick roads. Kudos to us.

So. Thank you Maxwell, for making my last Sweetheart's so peachy!

-A

You Don't Know.

I never knew Sydney Taylor Bruning. And I'm not going to pretend like I did. I can't say she was sweet. I can't tell you how funny she was. I can't even tell you the color of her eyes.

All I do know, is she isn't here anymore.

Suicide isn't just some thing we hear about on the news. It's something we keep hushed and hidden in the back of our closets. More people than you can imagine have considered it at one point or another, and have even tried. But you don't hear about it. You don't know that the girl who sits next to you in math, thought about how easy it would be to get the gun her dad has in his room, last night. You don't know that the boy that sits behind you in science has counted and recounted the pills in his bathroom, trying to decide when to swallow them.

Honestly? You don't know.

If there is one thing I've learned in the past three years, it's to listen. People just need someone they can trust, who will JUST listen.

Tonight, all I've been able to think about, are my friends. I don't know what I would do, if any of them died. And if they were to take their own life? I would honestly feel... I don't know. Empty, but at the same time, full of regret, doubt, and hate. I would lay in bed awake all night, every night, running over it in my head, wondering what I could have said. What I could have done. Anything. Everything. It would be a vicious cycle of knowing that it doesn't matter what I could have done, because you can't change the past.

Nothing we can do can change the past, but everything we do changes the future.

So my final thought. I love you all. And if anyone ever needs someone to talk to, I really would love to listen. I don't believe in judging, because trust me, I have my own issues. Every person deserves to know how beautiful they are. How smart they are. And how much they deserve to be happy.

-A